Last night, I dreamed of death, and sugar. A strange combination perhaps. Death in dreams, often means the psychic acknowledgment of change and transformation. Allowing one phase of life to pass for the next to continue and flourish. The sugar? Perhaps there is the feeling of the need to sweeten the process with something pleasurable or perhaps a message NOT to try and sugar coat the inevitable? Maybe I just want to feel better. I am one of those sugar addicts who turn to sweet things when I am feeling bad.
In the waking state, I am torn. A work situation that brings me joy and enrichment is also an unwelcome source of pain. How many of us recognise this state? My natural impulse is always to try and avoid conflict and unpleasantness, even though I have learned, over the years, the techniques of managing these states. These phases come and go in life. And sometimes, it really is time to move on. It is about knowing when the time is right, rather than just following the impulse to run away.
The unfortunate thing is that we reflectors are generally not indulged our need to spend time and "sit" with something. My quietness, reflection and stillness - the very traits that make me good at my job- are STILL seen as weaknesses in the workplace, despite of the changes in our understanding of personality, social psychology and team work.
So I will "sit" with this a while.